A worm crawled in my ear, and it won't die

“H
ow will I know if he really loves me?” Incessantly repeated over and over again in my head. I was in a store the other day, and Whitney Houston was blaring over the speakers. “I say a prayer with every heartbeat. I fall in love whenever we meet.” And for hours, my mind festered, unendingly bubbling with this stupid song. I couldn’t get rid of it! 
I tried to replace it with some Frank Sinatra, Brahms, even Queen, but NO! I would finally get rid of it with a phrase from a song I actually liked, like “Separate Ways” by Journey. But then I’d fatally think, “Well, that’s better than Whitney Houston!”...
... and “How will I know if he really loves me?”
This seems to happen all the time. But it’s always some song I think is stupid. OK, I’m not trying to say Whitney Houston was a stupid artist. I recognize she had one of the best voices I’ve ever heard, and some songs, such as “I Will Always Love You,” are fantastic! But not “How Will I Know?” Especially for a guy like me, because I don’t care if he really loves me, especially because I don’t know who “he” is. Now, if that was a question about Connie, that would be different. But then I know she really loves me. She shows me all the time. But “he”? Like I said, I don’t know who “he” is and, personally, I could care less. But this tripe is going to live in my head for a year and a half now. Nope! I’ve got to get rid of it. Sadly, I can’t. It’s taken up residence, won’t pay the rent, and I’m going to have to take it to court to evict the damned poacher!
And it’s never EVER a song I like. It’s never “Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2,” which I could play in my head from start to finish without a single mistake. I’d enjoy that. But it’s those stupid songs that create earworms with me. “This is the song that never ends.” Okay … that one actually caused me to go to war with a weak and puny country once, and elvish genocide was the result. It’s probably the worst earworm a person can get. That one I can blame on my kids. I’d never heard it before – my daughter was about 12, my son about 9 and what do they do?
“Hey, dad! Listen to this,” they said. Then they started singing, “This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on, my friend.” I played that never-ending song from that time until the present. At least that song doesn’t lie. It is the song that never ends. It’s still there – “Not knowing how to finish it forever, just because this is the song that never ends.”
Okay, hang on for a second. I’ve got to grab a rubber mallet and bang myself over the head a few times. 
…
Nope! It didn’t work. That never-ending song just won’t end.
I think the worst song of all time that has plagued my mind relentlessly has to be the theme from “Gilligan’s Island.” So, just sit right back, and you’ll hear a tale.
… A tale from my tortured mind. Sorry folks. But I’m at a point with these earworms that I don’t think I should have to suffer them alone. Some of you are going to come along on this journey with me. It’s not that I have dislike for any of you. I don’t. It’s just that I have no idea how to get rid of them. And you’re all going to help me, aren’t you?
“How will I know if he really loves me?” You see? It just won’t go away. And right now, I’m wondering if any of you have that song stuck in your head. Just in case you need help, “I say a prayer with every heartbeat. I fall in love whenever we meet.” Is it stuck? Can you get rid of it? If so, I need help. After all, “I’m asking you what you know about these things.”