Mental health awareness and self-compassion
Mental health awareness and self-compassion
by Leslie Hayman
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a movement started in 1949 by Mental Health America “to highlight the importance of mental wellbeing, educate the public, reduce stigma and promote support for those affected by mental health conditions. Each year, individuals and organizations come together to raise awareness and advocate for better mental health care and resources” (National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 2025).
A lot of times, I think it’s so easy to breeze by these “awareness” months, giving a quick nod or maybe even an eye roll to what’s being promoted in the public sphere. Obviously, I would posit that being aware of mental health is indeed important and worth pausing a bit, even for the duration of this article, to consider. The statistics about mental health are easy to breeze over, so I won’t bore you with many, save to make the point that having a mental health issue, or even diagnosable mental health condition, is quite common and probably going to happen to many of us at some point in life. You and I are not immune to experiencing mental health trouble, and you and I are not alone in it either.
“Fast Facts” around mental health statistics in the United States, from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI, 2023), are that 1 in 5 adults experience mental illness each year, 1 in 20 experience serious mental illness each year, 1 in 6 youth ages 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year, 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14 and 75% by age 24. Shockingly, suicide is the second-leading cause of death among people ages 10-14. Suicide rates are rising in young people alarmingly, but this is an article for another day. As a quick refresher, mental illness is defined by the American Psychiatric Association (2022) as, “health conditions involving changes in emotion, thinking or behavior (or a combination of these). Mental illnesses can be associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, work or family activities.” Mental health is defined by the American Psychological Association (n.d.) as, “a state of mind characterized by emotional well-being, good behavioral adjustment, relative freedom from anxiety and disabling symptoms, and a capacity to establish constructive relationships and cope with the ordinary demands and stresses of life.”
We have the “fast facts,” so now what? Awareness, not necessarily to be rushed, must necessarily be followed by action at some point. We want to prevent and treat mental illness and promote mental health in ourselves and our loved ones. The second piece of this article, self-compassion, is an action step we can take to help our mental health. It’s the necessary companion to self-forgiveness, the topic of my last article.
Before there are any more eye rolls, hear me out. Compassion is a Latin word, broken down into its two parts: com, meaning with, and passion, meaning suffering. Essentially, compassion means to “be with” in suffering. We do this with our loved ones regularly, and see this as an essential part of relationships. We notice they are suffering, we realize this is an inescapable reality of the human experience, and then we respond with “warmth, understanding, and kindness,” and we’ve been compassionate toward another, according to Dr. Kristin Neff (n.d.), a self-compassion expert. Most people realize that without compassion, deep and lasting relationships wouldn’t exist.
Self-compassion, then, is simply turning this warmth, understanding and kindness into ourselves. It’s always very interesting, and heartbreaking, to observe how many, many of the people I encounter personally and professionally have a natural tendency to be compassionate toward others but extremely hard on themselves. Many people believe the fallacy that if they are actually nice to themselves, they will turn into a motivation-less victim who never gets anything done. Nothing could be further from the truth! Research demonstrates that when we are compassionate toward ourselves by being mindful (being aware of our thoughts, feelings, and circumstances), recognizing our common humanity (that pain, failure, imperfection are part of being human), and responding with kindness, we actually are able to pick the pieces up and move forward effectively (Neff, Kristin, n.d.).
A good old-fashioned butt-chewing might serve to temporarily motivate ourselves and others in the short term, but research shows that this strategy fails miserably in the long term. This is because when we are attacked, we go into fight, flight or freeze, activating the survival part of our brain. When we attack, we also go into this same mode. Being really hard on ourselves creates a sort of double whammy, being the attacked and the attacker, perhaps creating a somewhat temporary motivation, but creating a long-term shut down. Conversely, when we are kind to ourselves and others, cortisol is reduced and oxytocin and opiates are released, putting us into an optimal state of mind to do our best. This is because of the “mammalian caregiving system,” a part of the brain that responds to “warmth, gentle touch, and soft vocalizations,” keeping baby mammals close to their caregivers to promote survival (Neff, Kristin, 2013). We can see this with our loved ones, but especially our children: When we are encouraging and compassionate regularly, the response is quite positive, whereas when we are critical and harsh, the response is to pull away and shut down.
This May, take a tiny little action step toward self-compassion as you ponder mental health. Practically speaking, the easiest way to do this is to speak to yourself only as you would speak to your children or another special person in your life. If you wouldn’t say it to your kid, don’t say it to yourself. I also highly recommend going to the internet to check out the video “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen” and her website, which contains a plethora of information, videos and research on the necessity and benefits of self-compassion. Cheers to a healthier mind and a healthier life this May!
References:
American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Mental health. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health
Mental health by the numbers. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2025, March 27). https://www.nami.org/about-mental-illness/mental-health-by-the-numbers/…;
Mental Health Awareness Month 2025. National Council for Mental Wellbeing. (2025, May 1). https://www.thenationalcouncil.org/mental-health-awareness-month/
Neff, K. (2024, August 20). What is self-compassion?. Self-compassion.org. https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/#what-is-self-compa…;
The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen. (2013, February 6). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4&t=54s
What is mental illness?. Psychiatry.org. (2022). https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-mental-illness