God’s plans aren’t always our expectations

I have a tendency to have lots of expectations in life, whether that be expectations for how my day should go or even what direction my life should take. Oftentimes, however, expectations stem from not only my limited perspective on my life but also from a selfish desire for everything to go exactly as I see fit. I forget that I serve a God whose view of my life is much larger than my own and who knows much better than I do. 

A couple weeks ago, I went on a trip to Mexico where my best friend and longtime News Letter Journal employee, Hannah Gross, and her husband, Isaac, are serving as missionaries. I went to the Bible camp where they are living, Campamento Berea, during the annual girls’ camp. During this trip, I was hoping (expecting) to not only visit Hannah and Isaac but also to help out at the camp in whatever capacity I could. 

I arrived on a Saturday and had a very enjoyable and relaxing weekend with Hannah and Isaac, and I met new people and another missionary family we had lunch with that Sunday. It was a very encouraging time of fellowship. 

When the week of camp started, I had intentions of helping in the kitchen (one of the only things I could do since I don’t speak Spanish.). I ended up helping for just a day and a half and then I was sick for the rest of the camp. 

I was very disappointed. Not only was I pretty miserable and sleeping most of my time away, but I wasn’t able to spend any time with Hannah or any of the other people I met. I also wasn’t able to help out, and it was hard not to feel as if my trip was being wasted. Needless to say, I was probably throwing myself a bit of a pity party, thinking mostly of myself rather than others. 

The funny thing is, leading up to my trip to Mexico, I had been praying the Lord would help me to learn how to focus on serving Him and others more, rather than being so self-focused. I thought that maybe the trip to Mexico would be a good opportunity for that, helping me to be focused on kitchen work and helping out rather than on myself. 

So, when I got sick, I remember thinking, “Well, this sure isn’t helpful.” 

However, during all that down time, while I certainly failed to make the most out of it in the moment, there were also ways God used it to do some convicting and work in my heart. I had a lot of time to myself, a lot of time to think, and that is sometimes where God does some serious work in our hearts. 

I got better in time for the weekend and had another fun and relaxing weekend with Hannah and Isaac, with more good conversations and fellowship before having to part ways on Monday. 

We don’t always understand the ways the Lord works. I certainly wouldn’t have chosen to get sick for most of the camp week and miss out on being involved in that. But God does have a purpose for everything, and He can use it to grow us. He ultimately knows what I need far more than I know what I need. 

And, in the end, despite unmet expectations, it really was an amazing trip and so good to see Hannah. Parting ways was sad, as always, but I know she and Isaac are right where God wants them and will continue to be used by Him as they seek and serve Him. In the meantime, I will seek to serve the Lord where I am and hope to visit Mexico again soon!