‘Prayer still haunts many LGBT individuals’ — Green River woman speaks about how she felt abandoned by religion after coming out
ROCK SPRINGS — Through mental health treatment, a Green River woman now feels validated, and she’s enjoying the simple things in life, such as dancing at a bar for the first time.
For Jessica Medley, going to Rock Springs Pride’s silent disco event was a milestone for her.
“I had a good time,” Medley told the Rocket Miner. “I felt exhilarated. I surprised myself. Before moving here, I didn’t think I’d dance, mingle, or make connections like that. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”
After years of abuse, she has found a place where she can feel safe and be herself.
‘Not the best option’
Last year’s annual Rock Springs PrideFest began with a prayer by Rev. Bernadine Craft. This year, board members decided not to include a public invocation during their event on Saturday, June 7.
Medley is a board member for Rock Springs Pride. She questioned why a prayer should be included in the event since “not everyone feels safe with God when they’re gay.”
Religious trauma, particularly when coupled with the experience of being gay, has had significant negative impacts on Medley’s mental health and well-being. With this, she proposed that a park-wide prayer should be excluded from the event.
According to Medley, not everyone is OK.
“Prayer still haunts many LGBT individuals, so we nixed it,” she said, noting that prayer should occur in a smaller group or one-on-one. “If people truly understood what it’s like to be gay and to be shunned, they would know that prayer is not the best option.
“For PrideFest, itself, I don’t think prayer is the way to go.”
Medley pointed out that even today, there are several groups who show hate for the LGTB community “in the name of God.”
‘Words matter’
The year was 2009. Medley was in her 30s, married to a man and an active member of her church in Illinois when she discovered she was a lesbian. She said she was “brutally shunned by everyone” she viewed as a second family.
“I lost my marriage, my faith, and everyone I held dear to my heart all at once,” she said, admitting she married a man because she wanted to get away from her abusive parents. “I was told to stand before everyone and say that I alone brought sin into the church.”
She said the church didn’t put Medley’s lover on the spot because she was “a new Christian.”
Before Medley stood in front of the congregation, the pastor said something that stuck with her for the rest of her life.
He said, “Before I bring Ms. Medley up, I’d like to remind you that there are people with such character flaws that they are like a clearance- shelf reject item that nobody wants.”
“That was brutal,” she said. “That followed me through my whole life. Words matter.”
Over 200 church members sat and listened to her confession. Eventually, this led to a dependence on others, which landed her in poverty. She went from one abusive relationship to another.
“Losing my faith was hard, so that’s why I don’t think there should be prayer at PrideFest,” she said, noting she is not anti-God and doesn’t hate Christians. “If you want to reach out to the gay community, do it through actions, not prayer.”
She added it has been a long journey for her to come out.
As part of the healing process, she just finished writing her first book, “Daddy’s Little Porn Star: Frozen at Four.” She is hoping her book will provide readers who have been victims of injustices to find a way to heal and make a difference “in a world that seems out of control with abuse, hate and rage.”
She said writing, going to a bar and giving a speech at PrideFest were huge steps to take in her life. She got involved in Pride because she feels there is a lot of ignorance about love.
“To be attacked for loving another woman is not fair,” she said.
In her speech in front of attendees at Saturday’s PrideFest, she said labels are not necessary.
“We are human,” she said. “We have the capacity to love and to be loved.”
This story was published on June 11, 2025.