Overcoming addiction

Alexis Barker
NLJ Reporter
 
A life of addiction, uncertainty and legal troubles has become a life of recovery, community awareness and success for Cheyenne’s Susan Brown, formerly of Newcastle. 
Through her teen years and well into her adult life, Brown relied on meth, alcohol, marijuana and prescription medications to make it through her day. This led to legal issues, the loss of her children and a stint in rehab, but Brown didn’t let that hold her down. 
Brown has overcome her substance abuse issues and gotten her kids back. She has also become a sponsor for other women in sobriety and an advocate for autism in Cheyenne. 
“All of my teen life and thereafter I have been a part of the drug and alcohol lifestyle,” said Brown, who lived in Newcastle for 16 years. She specifically had issues with meth, marijuana and the prescription medication OxyContin, she said.  
Brown said she eventually slowed down on the drugs for about five years, got married and began a nursing career, with her own business on the side. 
“Even though I was still a part of the lifestyle, I felt I was in control because I wasn’t doing any of the harder drugs,” she said. 
The birth of her daughter, Elizabeth, gave her a reason to quit drinking, long enough to birth her child and breastfeed. Right after she quit breastfeeding, Brown said she was right back to the same party lifestyle, leading up to the birth of her son, Scott. 
“Two years later I had my son. He was born at 35 weeks, stillborn for 6 minutes and spending four weeks and three days in the NICU,” Brown recalled. “The doctors told me he would most likely have brain damage, and we had no clue what would come out of the situation.” 
Returning home after Scott’s birth, Brown sold her business and tried to focus on her nursing career before eventually relapsing. 
“This time it was a major relapse. I threw everything away,” Brown said. “My life went completely downhill. I was arrested several times, which resulted in me losing both my children. I lost my job and was turned away from any kind of career I shot for. I lost my house and my car.”
Her last arrest, in Newcastle, ended up making the difference. 
“Since I was stuck in this lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, I didn’t realize that I had lost everything,” Brown said. “I was arrested for the last time on Feb. 25, 2015, and had the opportunity to go to a Cheyenne treatment center. That place changed my life.” 
While in rehab, she learned that her son had autism, something that was scary for Brown because she had no idea what autism was and what it meant for her child. The diagnosis led Brown to take a class on autism, the first step in her journey to become an advocate for autism in Wyoming. 
After graduating from treatment, Brown landed a job and a home with the help of the treatment facility, got her kids back and began to embrace her future, all while learning about her son and what autism really looked like. 
“The more I was with my son, the more hurt I was,” she said. “I did not know what his autism looked like. We would both sit on the floor and cry because there was no way for us to communicate.” 
The inability to communicate manifested itself in frustration and aggressiveness on her son’s part.
“He was so aggressive that everything in the house was getting broke. I had to put up anything that could get broke and put my television up as high as I could,” Brown said. “I had some help from his school, but they weren’t specialized in handling someone with his type of autism. Even day care would tell me to come get him because he was too violent.” 
Brown said she was lost and had no idea how to handle her own son, and finding people in Cheyenne to help her was nearly impossible.
“I couldn’t connect with anyone that had gone through this,” Brown said. “I didn’t have a single resource to use.” 
Two and a half years later, Brown has become that resource, creating a Facebook page of people and resources who understand autism. She also created a support group for locals. 
“I am just a mom trying to help out families that do not know where to turn. I never want to hear of a person sitting on the floor for months crying because their child is so aggressive and they have no way to communicate,” Brown said. “I am reaching out to families to help them find the resources that I have found. These support groups show that we don’t have to go through it alone.” 
After beginning the support group, Brown’s daughter also received an autism diagnosis, although a different type than her brother’s. 
“I went back to square one and started researching even deeper into autism. I do booths at conventions and am now hosting an autism awareness walk. I want to spread the knowledge,” Brown said. 
Brown remembers a time when she never saw her life improving, when she never thought she would have custody of her kids again and when she never thought she would find love. 
Today, Brown is raising her two kids, helping other families throughout Cheyenne and the state and preparing to marry the man that she loves. She still battles with the impacts of her previous drug use, she said. 
“Four years clean and sober and I am still cleaning up my mess. It (drug use) took everything I had – morals, dignity and standards. I had to relocate and start over,” Brown said. “Every day I have to work hard. I have to know my triggers and learn to use coping skills. I have to practice self-care, and I have to work 10 times as hard to stay focused so I make sure I don’t fall again.” 
She admits that she carries a lot of guilt and shame and that she is still trying to reconnect and build a relationship with her kids after being away from them for so long. 
“I am still trying to build their trust. Their lives were traumatized, and I am barely starting to build on the foundation I worked hard to create over the last four years,” Brown said. “I will forever feel the effects of my past, and I’ll forever be working on dealing with my past. The things I did will always be in the back of my mind, especially what happened to my kids.” 
Still, Brown knows that she’s now able to tackle the tough things in life.
“But with all of this, I became a stronger person, a person that can take their struggles and use it as motivation to help others and know that there is life after drugs. I was able to get that second chance that not many will get, and I ran with it,” she said. “Today I am four years’ clean and sober. I am a sponsor and getting married. I am making a future, regardless of my past. It takes a lot of faith in yourself and will power.”
“It has been a hard journey, but I wouldn’t change it for the world,” she said.