Taking a stand: Public says ‘No’ to domestic violence

ROCK SPRINGS — Sweetwater County residents can help break the silence by purchasing a purple YWCA Stand Against Domestic Violence yard sign and showing their neighbors they care about taking a stand. 
Representatives from YWCA of Sweetwater County will deliver the signs by Saturday, Oct. 1, and pick them up at the end of the month. 
Taneesa Congdon, director of YWCA domestic violence programs, said, “It’s a sense of support from the community when I drive through town and see the signs. For survivors, seeing those signs remind them that they’re not alone.” 
“A lot of people think it doesn’t happen here or it’s not that bad here,” said Melinda Bass, YWCA executive director. “We get 350 to 400 crisis calls each year.” 
Since the COVID-19 pandemic restricted in-person events, the idea of planting the domestic violence awareness signs was discussed and achieved by representatives. 
According to Bass and Congdon, this is the third year residents will have the opportunity to show that they stand against domestic violence. 
The Western Wyoming Community College volleyball team volunteered to decorate the trees with purple lights on Dewar Drive and plant the signs. Simplot and Memorial Hospital of Sweetwater County sponsored the lights and signs. 
The Sweetwater County Board of Commissioners will proclaim October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month on Tuesday, Oct. 5. Rock Springs Mayor Tim Kaumo and Green River Mayor Pete Rust will also make the same proclamation during the city council meetings on that evening. 
There are a few other ways the community is spreading awareness. 
Local and visiting patrons will notice domestic violence awareness window clings on salons throughout the community. 
“We’re trying to get more salons involved because a lot of times, women talk to their hair stylist about what’s happening in their homes and the new boyfriend in her life,” Congdon revealed. “Stylists hear a lot more than you realize.”
In another awareness campaign, local coffee hot spots such as Coal Train Coffee Depot, Nell’s Coffee and Hooligan’s Expresso will pass out purple bracelets and place ‘Stand up, Speak out’ and ‘End Domestic Violence’ stickers on their to-go cups as reminders “to think about domestic violence victims, other than just a cup of coffee,” Bass said. 
The public is invited to the annual Silent Witness Ceremony and Candlelight Vigil on Thursday, Oct. 20, 6 p.m. — 8 p.m. at Western Wyoming Community College theater. At this event, different aspects of domestic violence will be discussed by guest speakers. Leslie Smith, a counselor from High Point Counseling, will make a presentation. Bob Vine from Wyoming Coalition of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault will discuss how men can help in their efforts to address and prevent sexual assault. 
“Sometimes our work is seen as a woman’s issue,” Congdon mentioned. “The idea is to broaden that. It’s a man’s issue too.” 
Stephanie Cassidy from the Sweetwater County Sheriff ’s Office will talk about law enforcement’s involvement and perspectives of domestic violence. According to Bass, most victims find it easier to move during the summer. 
“Often times, people will say, ‘She just needs to leave.’ It’s a lot to just leave and start your life over. Imagine standing there with just a backpack and that’s all you get to take with you.” 
“It can take years to re-establish yourself at that point such as getting a regular source of income, taking the kids to a different school and making childcare arrangements.” 
Bass said victims could face ongoing harassment from their significant other after leaving. 
“It could be a long process, especially when it involves mental health,” Bass pointed out. “That’s why we’re bringing a mental health counselor to the silent witness ceremony. Some people think ‘You got out of it,’ ‘You got counseling’ and ‘You’re good now,’ but that’s not how it works. It’s often something that’s going to come back again and again.” 
According to Congdon, physical violence isn’t the only issue victims face. 
“It’s emotional and psychological trauma too. Those words that stick with you such as ‘You’re not good enough’ or ‘You can’t do anything right.’ take the longest to heal from.” Bass noted that during “the honeymoon state” of the relationship, the victim is introduced to enduring names and positive compliments. 
“This is the presentation that the batterer is putting forward,” she warned. “Nobody walks into a relationship and gets hit on the first date. That’s rare. Sometimes, it doesn’t get physical and that’s the story of some victims who died from domestic violence – it was the level of psychological and emotional control the abuser had.” Congdon said.
“The goal is not to do this just throughout October but throughout the whole year. We’re letting people know we’re here to help. There’s a way to get out and there are resources.” 
Bass added, “The victim has to make the choice, but it’s better to make it with resources than to do it on their own.” 
YWCA representatives want victims to know the signs of an abuser:  

Preventing you from working  

Using insults, intimidation or humiliation  

Extremely jealous or controlling behavior

Monitoring social media  

Isolation from friends and family  

Unwanted sexual contact 

Controlling financial decisions  

Blaming you for all problems  

Damaging your property  

Threatening your pets and family 

Friends and family members can lend an ear, model healthy relationships and check in regularly. Victims may reach out for help by calling the 24-hour crisis line 307-352-1030. 
 
This story was published on Oct. 1, 2022.